


If I'm Being Honest

by lamergirl



Series: Songfics [2]
Category: Smosh, Smosh Games
Genre: Angst, F/F, Flirting, Pining, Song Lyrics, Songfic, but its there, very little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 03:13:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17654984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamergirl/pseuds/lamergirl
Summary: She was so beautiful, even now on this Friday night with dark circles under her eyes from nights up late studying, In her sweat-stained clothes, she didn’t change out of after ballet practice that afternoon and Bathed in the pale moonlight reflected off the water, Mari Takahashi was a goddess.Boze felt like she shouldn’t even be allowed to look at her the way she was.





	If I'm Being Honest

**Author's Note:**

> The song this whole fic is based on is If I'm Being Honest by Dodie Clark.

_I was told this is where I would start loving myself_  
_Flirting's delicious proved to be beneficial for mental health_  
_All of my best bits pulled forward, collected, displayed_  
_Sadly, I just think that I was disgusting today_

 

Boze never usually wore make-up to hang out with her friends. They had all been friends for so long, it seemed stupid. They knew what she looked like, hell all of them had seen her in her underwear before, why did it matter. Regardless she found herself putting on a little concealer to cover up her dark circles, a little bit of eyeliner and some lipstick.

When she was ready, she didn’t have to wait long for the text from Wes that they were waiting outside. She quietly slipped out the front door into the cool summer’s night air, careful to close the door softly and lock it behind her, encase her parents were awake. They were all in Jovens pickup truck, well for the most part. Joven, Damien, and Sohinki were all squeezed in the front but Wes, Mari, and Lasercorn were all sitting in the bed of the truck, holding on to the side of the truck for their safety.

Without any hesitation, she quickly hopped into the back of the truck with a hand from Wes and settled in her usual spot next to Mari as the truck started back up. Everyone greeted her by pulling her into the story that Damien had been telling. The window in the back of the cab was wide open and Damien was loudly proclaiming how his statistic teacher could eat shit because he should have gotten 100 on the last quiz.

Boze tried to let herself fall back into the usual feelings of comradery and closeness she felt with everyone, but there was another feeling she couldn’t push down. It didn’t help when she felt Mari softly grab her hand. She looked up to see Mari give her a sly smile before looking up and adding something to Damien’s story that made the rest of the group laugh.

They held hands for the rest of the ride.

 

 _You blew me up like a big balloon far too soon_  
_I'm left a stuttering teen_  
_How did I get here?_  
_It's all so quick, and I feel sick_  
_Red pushing down on the green_

 

On their way to their late-night destination, Joven pulled into the local gas station for some gas and Wes said he was gonna go in and get some snacks.

As Lasercorn and Sohinki accompanied Wes off the back of the truck, Lasercorn turned back to the two girls still in the bed, “Are you guys coming?”

“My ankle still hurts from dance today so I'm gonna stay right here,” Mari said casually.

Boze remembered the last time she was alone with Mari in the back of this pickup and decided she wasn’t ready for a repeat just yet. “I could really use a soda, so I’ll come, Do you want anything?” She asked Mari.

Mari shook her head and let go of her hand so she could get up, almost making Boze regret her decision. Nevertheless, Boze got up and went with them from the dark night to the bright fluorescent lights of the store. She got herself a mountain dew and some cool ranch Doritos, Mari’s favorite, before joining her friends at the front. Wes paid for everyone’s snacks like the amazing friend he was, and everyone piled back into the back of the truck.

Boze sat back next to Mari and found herself wanting to reach over and take the initiative this time. Before she could slip her hand into Mari’s, Mari made a proclamation about being tired then proceeded to lean her head on Boze’s shoulder.

Boze let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and wrapped her arm around Mari so she could stabilize them both as Joven started back down the road.

 

 _Could you love this?_  
_Will this one be right?_  
_Well, if I'm being honest_  
_I'm hoping it might_  
_Could you love this?_  
_Did you plan to fall?_  
_Well, if I'm being honest_  
_Oh, I bet it's not that at all_

 

They finally arrived at the lake, and everyone jumped out of the truck. Joven had parked right next to the doc, on the grass, so they didn’t half to walk more than a few feet to their favorite spot by the water. Damien and Lasercorn laid out the big blanked Joven had bought along and everyone piled on top of each other on the blanket.

Before Boze could sit next to Mari, she found herself being accosted by Wes who sat her in his lap. She didn’t mind this at all, of course, any other night she would love to lean into Wes, and just take a nap. Tonight, however, she wanted to continue something with Mari, something Mari had started weeks ago. Something that Boze was scared to death of.

Something she had wanted for a while.

But she stayed in Wes’s lap. Mari lay down in the spot in front of Wes, giving herself a nice lazy view of the water, and for now, that was close enough for Boze.

Boze still couldn’t see why Mari had kissed her that night. She was so beautiful, even now on this Friday night with dark circles under her eyes from nights up late studying, In her sweat-stained clothes, she didn’t change out of after ballet practice that afternoon and Bathed in the pale moonlight reflected off the water, Mari Takahashi was a goddess.

Boze felt like she shouldn’t even be allowed to look at her the way she was.

 

 _Hope has a cost, keeping all fingers crossed and held tight_  
_But I look idiotic with my limbs all knotted, it doesn’t feel right_  
_Truly you've shaken me, and I think you like how I plead_  
_But I have a hunch that that's all you wanted from me_

 

They had all squeezed into the back of Jovens parked truck since the rain from earlier had made the grass too wet to sit on and ‘someone’ had forgotten to bring a blanket. They had been playing some improv game that Joven and Wes had introduced to the group that involved people getting up and acting a fool. Mari and Boze had been playing sort of for a while but the two of them, leaning on each other in the corner, had started drifting from the action.

“Sometimes I feel like,” Mari said softly, looking up into the sky while Boze hung on every word, “Like all of us are too close.”

“What’s wrong with being close?” Boze asked.

“Nothing's wrong with it, it’s just, I can’t see my self being with anyone with you guys, for like the rest of my life,” Mari said still not looking at Boze.

“Define being with?” Boze asked and Mari didn’t respond allowing the quiet moment to stretch on, “That sounds more like you just really like someone in the group.”

At that Mari looked back at Boze, an intense expression on her face, “Its more than that, but maybe I do.” Suddenly a commotion was heard and Boze and Mari turned to see Wes jump off the back of the truck with an indignant Sohinki over his shoulder. Everyone followed Wes off the back and toward the dock so they wouldn’t miss the action, except for the two girls who watched the action with amusement from their comfortable positions. They watched Wes throw Sohinki off the dock and yell triumphantly only to be pushed in by Lasercorn afterward with amusement, only slightly curious what they had missed.

Boze had turned away from the commotion to see that Mari was watching her instead. They sat there looking at each other for a moment before Boze started softly, “So are you gonna tell me who you like?”

And with that Mari had kissed her, changing everything all at once.

 

 _You blew me up like a big balloon far too soon_  
_Holding my breath makes me choke_  
_How did I get here?_  
_It's all so quick, and I feel sick_  
_I'm used to being a joke_

 _Could you love this?_  
_Will this one be right?_  
_Well, if I'm being honest_  
_I'm hoping it might_  
_Could you love this?_  
_Did you plan to fall?_  
_Well, if I'm being honest_  
_Oh, I bet it's not that at all_

Now, Boze offers Mari some of her chips and Mari quickly sits up to take some out of the bag, reminding Boze that those were, in fact, her favorite, like Boze didn’t buy them exclusively for that reason.

By the time the snacks had gone, the conversation had been centered around something that only best friends could talk about at 1 in the morning next to a lake. And like she had found herself all night, Boze was once again distracted by Mari. She was getting antsy, Boze could tell.

When a few minutes passed and Mari went to get up, Boze’s head snapped up. “I’m just gonna stretch my legs,” Mari said stepping away from the group and toward the dock. Boze bounced up from Wes’s lap without thinking, telling the group she was doing the same as she followed her.

Mari sat on the end of the dock and let her feet dangle a few inches above the water. Boze sat down next to her silently and the two sat like that for a moment, just enjoying each other’s company.

“do you like us all the same?” Boze found herself saying out loud, shaking Mari out of her reverie, and from the confused expression on Mari's face, Boze started backpedaling, “I just mean last week you said that all of us were too close but then you kissed me. Which makes me think you were trying to say you liked me like more than friends but then again you did say you were too close to all of us and that what I said wasn’t the whole picture, so for all I know you could have been saying that you just wanna kiss all of us because its comfortable.” Boze said getting all of the thoughts out of her head in one breath.

 

 _Could you love this?_  
_Will this one be right?_  
_Well, if I'm being honest_  
_I'm hoping it might_  
_Could you love this?_  
_Did you plan to fall?_  
_Well, if I'm being honest_  
_If I'm being honest_  
_Well, if I'm being honest_

 

Mari had an amused expression on her face the entire time and when Boze finished she waited a second before Speaking, “Is that all?” She asked and Boze nodded. “I can only see myself in this friend group for the rest of my life, yes, I mean I will never find a group of people who really care about and know me the way you guys do. But the way I feel about you, that’s a whole another story. So, to answer your question, I guess, no. I don’t like all of you the same. At least not in the same way.”

Mari ended her speech with her face a lot closer to Boze’s face than expected. Boze couldn’t be more thrilled about what happened next, regardless of her doubts.

_  
Oh, I bet it's not that at all_

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first like official songfic and I kinda want to make more of these because I love music so much and I have a lot of candidates that would translate really well.  
> Also, I started a smosh Tumblr lol so if you want to follow me and send me asks or check out the things that I think are too short to post on here, go to @Smoshjames
> 
> Just so you know, any comments at all absolutely give me the motivation to write. So whether you have nothing new to say except that you love a new chapter, or you have some criticism, or you have a suggestion, please let me know! Your involvement means the world to me!


End file.
